Monday, July 13, 2015

Questions about #4 (and maybe more?)

Going out in public with my three boys and giant belly has become quite the attraction (spectacle is maybe a better word?).

Being pregnant in general draws attention and unsolicited comments from strangers, but pregnant + three young children -- especially all of the same gender -- seems to be the perfect storm. People can't help themselves. Many comments are kind words of encouragement from women who have big families or who have all boys or just want to ask how I'm feeling.

However, I kid you not, I have heard all of these comments as well. ALL said in front of my kids, no less.

- "You know how *this* happens, don't you?"  - I love to reply "Yes, and we're actually doing it on purpose!"  And just to make their eyes a little wider I reveal that this is hopefully NOT our last baby.  If you didn't already think I was crazy, Target check-out lady...take a minute to let that sink in ;)

- "Looks like you need to learn to tell your husband "no" once in awhile!"  (um, what?)

- "I feel so bad for you..." (again...what? why?)

"You sure are brave!"  (this one doesn't bother me much, because, yes, I do feel quite brave :)

And the #1 question I get? {drum roll....}

- Were you trying for a girl?

This one is BY FAR the most common and by far the most offensive question (yes, even more offensive than eluding to my sex life or birth control choices).  It just seems like a crazy thing to ask.  No, I would not bring a human being into the world for the sole purpose of adding a specific gender to my "collection" of kids.  I have no control over whether it's a boy or girl (thankfully and rightfully so) and I don't spend time obsessing about it.  (and please, oh, please don't try to explain the "Shettle's Method" to me)

Usually strangers will also offer consolation..."well, if you DO have all boys at least you won't have to pay for a wedding, deal with all the girl drama, etc".  Really...I'll be happy with whatever "parts" my baby is born with, but thank you for your comforting words!

People's fascination with this topic always surprises me. I guess maybe it's because if there's one thing I've learned from having 3 of the same that they're anything but the same.  I have three very individual humans I'm raising.  I'm not in some sort of monotonous, predictable cycle of boys.

I have the joy of raising a smart, sensitive soul with big feelings, an ornery one that can charm just about anyone and a sweet, silent one who is so go-with-the-flow I think I'd take 100 of him.  SO different.

And I'm learning to parent them differently and figure out how to communicate with each of them.  None of them fully fall into the "boy" stereotype either. Yes, they love the outdoors, cars and sports.  But they also love princess movies, crafts, tea parties and doing my hair "so you look pretty for dada" as they say:)  

Honestly, I know people are mostly well-meaning.  And aside from having to tack on an additional 5 minutes to every errand we run just to field these curious questions it doesn't really bother me.  I just hope my children don't pick up on these sometimes insensitive questions and wonder if their momma really wanted them or wonder if maybe they're a burden in some way.

At any rate, we will meet who God has picked for our family very soon.  Whoever he/she is we are madly, deeply in love with this roly-poly, acrobat baby already (seriously this child never stops moving and flipping in my belly). The big brothers are beside themselves with anticipation and love to talk to the baby and feel him/her kick.  Plus they've been giving me daily foot rubs which has been awesome :)

My dear babies, 
Each of you were wanted and prayed for and we never wished for you to be anyone but who YOU are.  
You are my greatest gifts.  My fortune.  And that is one thing you will never have to question.
My whole heart,

1 comment:

  1. You have a beautiful family. Spending so much quality time with everyone is so much tough these days and you need special invitations. Right now I am looking for some of best DC venues, so that we can also have a family get-together.