Wednesday, August 20, 2014

Nine Ordinary Years.

Dear Billy, 

It's been nine years since the day we made our vows.  No longer newlyweds, it seems easier and easier to get sucked into the schedules and demands of everyday life.   Some days we're merely in survival mode.   You do your part, I do mine.  There are times that we're too "needed" to talk about our own needs. It’s the sort of thing that could quietly hollow our hearts until they echo empty if we let it.

Despite all of this. The realities of life. The responsibilities of children and work and every other commitment we've signed up for… my heart will never hollow for you.
Nine years ago, when everything was fresh and new and effortless, I made a promise that I would keep my love bright and my heart beating for you.  And that will never change.
That wild boy I fell in love with is still alive in you, even when you're folding laundry or giving our babes a bath.  I see him in the sparkle in your eyes and in that smile that still stops my heart when you catch me off-guard with it.

Our days may have become more ordinary, but I will never forget that our love began from something truly extraordinary.  When I fell for you over 13 years ago it was completely disorienting in the best way.  Now there is trust and easiness where there once was newness and spontaneity.
The lines around those irish-smiling eyes are getting deeper after nine additional years of being one of the most lighthearted, generally happy people I've ever met.  I have never loved you more.
I notice how time and three children have reshaped me as well.  But you've never made me feel more loved.
There are times we fondly remember a freedom and slowness to life that we no longer have.  But I could not imagine a better life. 
It's a wonderful thing to be loved so completely and to be so completely in love.  To be surrounded by our children who make our lives feel full.  Our everyday reality is everything I ever hoped for.
My heart is still bright and beating for you.  And will continue to be every single day of our beautiful, ordinary life.

Happy Anniversary.

My whole heart,

I found a CD of pictures a few weeks ago that I thought was lost.  Here's what was on it:
Billy had our friend, Tom Intfen, come by the house to take pictures before I got home from work on Friday, 6/11/09.  I love that I have these pictures right before he proposed.  I opened our front door to find a very nervous Billy, candles and rose petals.  I wish either of us could remember what he said :)  
Dancing an Irish jig to our wedding band, The Elders.

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